The benefits

I have decided that while exercising in a group or with other people can be possibly one of the most embarrassing and humbling experiences ever it is the best thing for me. I have discovered that when I am held more accountable and I have encouragement from others I push myself harder, I am more apt to actually begin the workout process and I actually have fun. I was introduced to the Stroller conditioning class, which should be named Stroller boot camp, by Jeanelle. The first time I participated I was pretty sure I would not be going back, it was ridiculously hard and I felt so out of shape. But I have been going back and now I LOVE it. It is great to be able to work out with the girls and other moms who are in the same place that I am. Most of the mothers have children right around the girls age and it is just a great bonding thing. The instructor is fabulous. She is hilarious and is such a motivation. Now this class is not just walk and push your stroller and chat. Oh no, it is sprinting and lunges, squats, push-up, tricep dips and much more. It truly is a boot camp, but with a free babysitter because the instructor entertains the kids while have our booties whipped into shape. Jeanelle and I have also been attending a Pilate's class, which I love as well. The instructor has to be in her 60's and she is in the best shape. The class is 60 minutes, which is in itself a challenge sometimes and my legs feel like jelly when I am done, but I know that I am getting toned and more flexible. I like this class because there is no jarring on my body parts and while it is a strenuous workout for me, it is also at the same time relaxing as well. I like these two classes because I have people to talk too. I am making friends, but most of all I feel like I really need to work and not slack because there are other people there who will encourage me and keep me going. So if you are lacking motivation go and start a group class somewhere and you will find that the benefits far out way the temporary embarrassment that you may feel in the beginning.

What's that puddle?

This afternoon has been a little rough. Maddie feel off the couch and bite her lip, it of course started bleeding and getting plump so I gave both the girls some ice to suck on. Well, a while later I went into the kitchen to start dinner and there was a puddle on the floor by the fridge. Natalie was standing there and I asked Tom how the floor had gotten all wet, while Natalie proceeded to slip and fall. Tom told me it was probably from the ice. Once Natalie was back on her feet she kept looking down and saying "oh no." At this point I realized it was not water, but that her swim diaper was leaking and it was dripping all of the floor, Natalie and now me. Ugh I said and started to take it off of her, at which point a huge puddle of pee came flying out, all over my hand and the rest of the floor. At least she didn't run, but it was pretty gross to know that she had gone slipping and sliding in a puddle of urine and not plain old ice water....gross, I am ready for the potty training to take effect.

One, TWO...

I always knew the day would come, I mean it is a milestone...Right? Counting that is, or mock counting. Our discipline method is 1,2,3 magic and it works great. I love it and wouldn't change it and would do it over again, but now that the girls are learning to count, Natalie especially mocks me. If I say One, she automatically says, TWO and smiles. It really is hard to not laugh or say good girl when I am trying to get her to stop doing some "bad" behavior, because I mean seriously it is pretty cute. So for now I am trying not to laugh at her in the middle of the discipline process, but I am pretty proud of the little one, I mean soon we will be able to ask her how old she is and she will be able to say, Two!

Fall is a comin

Over the last few days I have started to notice suttle changes in the leaves around our house and our walking path. Each day the colors seem to be changing and there have already been some leaves on the ground. I can't say that I mind too much, I love fall. The ability to wear jeans and a sweatshirt, (I HATE shorts and hot weather). Sipping warm drinks and not over heating and eating Carmel apples. The girls have already discovered that they enjoy crunching leaves under their feet. They will step, step, step and then stop and listen and say, ohhhhhh. Pretty cute. I just hope this year we have a fall and we don't dive into winter, the cold doesn't bother me, but the messy snow. Pretty snow is okay,but the messy kind is not cool. So I hope the leaves take their time changing and we can enjoy lots of beautiful colors and some cool nights and days. I am just thankful that I can sit in my nice house and actually see the trees this year and will be able to see all the prettiness around me as mother nature paints her next picture.

Speak out: The r-word

Well, I had this big long blog all set complaining about how annoyed I was at our eye doctor and our hour and 45 minute wait today, but something more important has arisen, so I will share that instead!
As some of you know, I used to work at Special Olympics Indiana. It was a great organization and the athletes are amazing. This evening I received an e-mail from one of my friends who still works there telling me about the new Ben Stiller/Jack Black movie and how it uses the "r-word." Here is some of her e-mail:

Lots of you may have heard about the controversy surrounding the new Ben Stiller/Jack Black movie Tropic Thunder, and its depiction of people with intellectual disabilities.

Without going into too many details, the gist is that the movie completely makes fun of and demeans people with intellectual disabilities. The “r-word”, retard (it makes me cringe to even type that word!) is used over 20 times in the film. I find it shocking and appalling that this is considered funny. I love a good joke as much as the next person, but to make fun of the most vulnerable population in the most callous way, in a format that will reach hundreds of thousands of people, is simply mean. And in no way funny.

Special Olympics, Best Buddies, Down’s Syndrome Association and many other disability advocacy group are strongly protesting this film. One of the ways in which Special Olympics is doing that is through the petition “Change the Conversation…Stop using the r-word.” You can visit http://www.r-word.org/ and sign an online petition to not use that word and to help erase it from the popular vernacular.

I agree with her and many, many others and cannot believe that this word is still being used. So if you get a chance visit the the above site and Speak out against the use of the "r-word."

Oh the Noise

I am not sure why, but for some reason our neighborhood is unusually LOUD this morning. It has not been like this all summer and today it is nuts. Cement trucks and the community people mowing the community grass and big dump trucks driving around and around. Of course today would be the day that I decided to go cold turkey on the coffee and to try to start potty training the girls. What was I thinking? I am so sick of changing diapers that I may be a little crazy in thinking they are ready, but when they go they tell me, after the fact, so I know they know what they are doing. We will see though I hope to last through the week, not many plans or outings so it should go okay. I mean really, is it a big deal if they have an accident in the sand box or on the grass?! As for the coffee thing, I was hoping to have kicked that habit while we were on vacation, but I think it only became worse so here I am trying to go cold turkey, which I have an immense feeling will be horrible and won't work. So here I sit, wishing for one of those nice quiet days were we can hear the birds chirping and the occasional airplane fly over instead of the cement trucking be cleaned across the street. Oh well, it could be worse, and at least it is sunny and the temp. is awesome!

Dear Allison

Dear Allison,
You are now among the angels, but will never be forgotten here on earth. I was fortunate enough to be a part of your life in the blogging world and I wish that I had had the opportunity to meet you in person. Your strength, courage, love for life and for you husband, family and friends was truly amazing. I have learned so much from you over the last few years and you will be missed. You are a woman who walked through this life with grace, style and a beauty that is unbelievably hard to find. I am so blessed to have stumbled across your blog and you and Tom have taught me more about being loved and loving another. The love you two shared was a special love, a rare love. So as the sun sets on this chapter I want to thank you for all that you have done to teach people about loving, being loved and about fighting cancer and know that your lessons will continue and that you have touched more people, more strangers, than anyone I have ever known. Allison, for now I say good bye and thank you, thank you for being strong and inspirational, thank you for sharing your story with so many and for letting us into your life. And as they say, you may be gone but you will never be forgotten.

Bite, Bite, Bite

It seems like not only have we entered the terrible two's, times two, but Maddie has entered a biting phase. Let me tell you, I will take the terrible two's over this biting thing, because it is painful. Yesterday, we were out for our usual walk and all of a sudden Natalie was screaming. I looked at her arm and she had a very fresh and deep bite mark laid into her arm. I couldn't believe it. They had not been fighting or anything, actually there hadn't been any noise at all until she started screaming. I was none to pleased. Then last night I was laying on my bed and Maddie was trying to climb up and I guess I wasn't helping her fast enough because she bite my leg. Into time out she went, laughing the whole way there! Once her time out was over I was having her say she was sorry and she bite me AGAIN. AHHHHHH, back into time out she goes, once again laughing. Thankfully it stopped there, but I could not believe this. She has bitten me a few times before, but it has gotten serious now. I guess I will have to enforce that it is not allowed at all and hope that this phase passes quickly, because it is a pretty painful phase and I am sure even more painful for the little sister!

Life Can Be Sad

Last night I experienced a sad moment. There wasn't anything that directly affected me that was sad, but none the less it impacted me none the less. See my grandma was on the phone and you could tell it was one of those conversations that wasn't going well. Later we were all outside and someone asked if she was crying. Indeed she was and none of us really knew what to do, including my aunt, her daughter. We all sat there for a while and let her compose herself and then finally I journed up to the porch to see what was wrong. Both she and my grandfather were sitting there very sullen. It turns out that one of their long time friends had suddenly passed away of either a stroke or a heart attack. She said the news was very shocking because out of most of their friends the one that passed seemed to have been the healthiest. To me it was one of those moments where you are just kind of like, okay what do I do now. This is one of the rocks in my life and her she is down and needing me, but how do you comfort one of those people you are so used to looking up to and going to in your own times of need. It was some what distressing, but at the same time it was an eye opening event, because once we were all together on the porch my grandma started talking about life and she was like, "see you never know what is going to happen in an hour or tomorrow so that is why I am living this moment to its fullest, here with my family." It was just another one of those times, where you have to remember how precious life is and how quickly it can be taken and to always be grateful for what you have and the people who are in your life, no matter how long or short they are with you, because you do really never know when it might end. So to all of you, I am grateful that you are in my life and I hope we have years of memories ahead of us!

I still can't believe it

As many of you know I have a huge addiction to Starbuck's frappacinos. You also know that I am trying to lose weight and usually these two do not go hand and hand. Well, wouldn't you know it, but I actually found a diet plan that INCLUDES Starbucks. That is right. It is the snack all day diet. Similar to the eat all day diet, the theory is that you eat about 200 calories every two hours from 8 to 8, totally around 1400 for the day. Well one of the snack sections is actually a frappacino. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that it would be possible to really lose weight and feed my addiction, but now I can!

One Long Weekend

This weekend was exceptionally long. I know, usually one is excited for the weekend and they always go by to fast, but this weekend was a long one. Around 11:00 am on Friday Natalie came down with a fever of 103.8. I started medicating her and called the dr. They said to just treat the fever, so I did. At 4:00 it still was really high so I called again, this was after Natalie literally laid on the couch all afternoon. Wouldn't eat, drink and her eyes kept rolling back in her head because she was so tired. They once again said to alternate Tylenol and Motrin. Saturday morning the fever was still high so we were off to the dr. to find out that she had an ear infection. Who knew?! She hasn't had a cold, runny nose and wasn't pulling her ears. That afternoon when she woke up from her nap her fever had risen to 105. Off to the ER we went. Let me tell you, there are some very interesting/weird people at the ER on a Saturday afternoon. After a little over an hour of waiting, we were called back and what I saw was truly shocking. It was like a movie with beds and people laying in the hallway. Very different if you ask me. So there we sat on one of those beds in the hall. The dr. finally came over and said she was fine and to just keep treating the fever. UGH!
Well, yesterday she was doing better, still on the tylenol and motrin but getting better. Then yesterday around 11 or so, Maddie starts the same fever. How can this be possible? Ear infections are not supposed to be contagious. So again today I was back at the dr. to find out that Maddie does indeed have an ear infection as well. We maybe going to see an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist because this is the 5th ear infection they have had in less that a year so if they get one more they may have to have tubes. Once again though it was ironic to me that they managed to get ear infections at the same time without sharing a cold. But needless to say all the trips to the dr. and the ER made for an interesting weekend.

The Great Debate

For the last several months Tom and I, but mostly me, have been going back and forth and back and forth on whether we want to have another child. Tom has said several times he doesn't care either way, but that he might like to have a boy. I thought this was funny, because after the girls were born he said he was fine with all girls. I on the other hand don't know, at all. It feels like there is so much that has to go into the decision. I sit and wonder, literally for hours, whether we are being selfish in having another child. For financial reasons, for economic reasons, world temperament, but mostly will it be fair to all the kids. The girls already have to share time with us, what will it be like if there is a third? We have a great family dynamic at the moment, and it is hard to picture that family if there was another child added to it. Also, the girls get along so well, what would it do to them to add another? I wish there was some button you could push that could give you the answers and that there weren't so many uncertainities. I fear that we could have twins again and I don't think we could do it, well we would, but I don't know if I could carry them and wow 4 kids would be a lot for us. I don't want that surgery again, but it would be a for sure thing we if decide to have another. I know that a lot of these questions all parents ask themselves when they decide to expand their families, but I feel like it is a huge weight that is sitting on my shoulders ready to drop at any moment. It may even be years until we truly decide, but then again there in lies more problems, because if we do have another we don't a huge age gap, so once again we are forced to think carefully about what we are doing. I guess I don't want to look down the road in years and say I wish we had had another child and we didn't, but I am sure in the end the decision we make will be right for our family, all of us, because that is what is most important our nice little family and making sure the girls are happy, safe and secure. Ahhhh well, so here is to my great debate...if you have anything to say I would love to hear it, it really is a hard decision, one that we know can only be answered by us and hopefully will some day.

Even when its hard

I have decided that even on days like today when it is hard being a mom, I wouldn't change a thing and I am the luckiest person alive that I get to stay home with my girls. Today would have been a day where Maddie got a time out for throwing things down the stairs. Natalie got one for throwing her good shoes into the pool. I had to give Maddie one in the grocery store for screaming and throwing items out of the cart. Okay, how do you give a child a time out at the store, well, let me share that with you. I had to take her out of the cart, put her in a corner, near the trash can at the end of an aisle and turn my back to her while she had her time out. Crazy I know, but the behavior was not acceptable. So one would think that time outs would have been the last of it to make it a bad day, but oh it gets gross, so hold on. Maddie made a mess in her diaper while we were outside playing after dinner, so I thought why waste a diaper and just let her run around with her body suit on, thinking nothing more could come out. I was wrong. By the time we got up to take a bath she had managed to go again and it had been ground into the body suit and pieces fell out all over the floor. So while I was trying not to rub it into her anymore, there was little Nat, walking around and almost stepping on the pieces....GROSS!
But we managed and laughed about it and while I am tired today, I am so thankful that tomorrow I get to wake up and their smiling little faces will greet me in the morning. That they will tell me they love me and give me hugs and kisses and to think, that is my job. My job is to love them and hug them, and play with them. Can I ask for more in life? I think not, I think that even though it can be hard there is no other place on earth I would rather be.

While Mommy is away:

The other day I left the girls home with Tom for a little while so I could run some errands. When I was almost home Tom called me and asked me where I was. I told him I was almost home. He said, "good because Maddie has something to show." Okay, I thought this is interesting. Well, when I walked Maddie ran up to me and had pen all over her legs and her feet. Natalie had a little pen on her also. I laughed and asked her what happened. She just hugged me, too cute. I asked Tom how long they had had the pen and he said he didn't know, less than 5 minutes and that it wasn't on the walls. I laughed again and said okay. Later that night as I was cleaning things up, I saw that there was pen all over one of their babies, all over the box pictured above and then worst was on our green foot stool. Of course I just kept laughing. Tom was really upset, but ah, kids will be kids right?

The Great Sunscreen Debacle

So it is obvious to most that Sunscreen is not to be applied to one's eyes. It is also very clearly marked as such on each package. Today, however, we had our first really big sunscreen in the eye adventure. Typically I will use the tear proof stuff made by Banana Boat. Today, however, I used water babies, one would think that something made for babies would be tear proof, but this turned out not to be the case. As both the girls started rubbing their faces the sunscreen that had just been generously applied to their arms, hand, legs and face made its way directly into their eyes. I thought for sure this wouldn't set them back and out to the pool we went. Maddie played for a little while, but Natalie just sat in my lap and kept her eyes closed. So after about 5 minutes inside we went to the sink. Now let me tell you hold an almost two year old under the sink so you can drench their eyes with water is a task, times that by two and by the time I was done I couldn't here myself think. I thought that the water drenching would do the trick so we sat down for a snack. Of course the water bath didn't do any good so we had to go upstairs to the shower, where the girls could let the water beat down on them and rinse their eyes out throughly. After about twenty minutes in the shower the girls seem to be able to see now. Both their eyes are all red and swollen, but I don't think there will be any permanent damage, but I can assure you I will NEVER use any sunscreen on or near the face that doesn't say "Tear proof."

All It Takes Is A Picture

I have heard people say before that all it took for them to finally lose the weight was to see a picture of themselves and they knew they had to do something. Today, I had one of those moments and saw one of this pictures. I had been doing really well, losing weight and keeping up with my running for the Mini. After the mini, like always I stopped running. Yes, I had my infected toe and was actually told by my doctor to take some time off, but I haven't gone back. In all I lost about 15 pounds from Thanksgiving to the beginning of May. I have now gained probably half of that back. I walk everyday and I am trying to make sure to get 10,000 steps in, but my eating is out of control. While I was training I was diligent about tracking what I eat and keeping my calories under control. Now, not only am I not tracking what I am eating, I eat everything in sight and I am not running there fore I am not burning what I need to be. I have a friend who said, "why do we always put things off?" Which, who really has the answer to that, but I am no longer putting this off. It is time for me to make a life change, not only for myself, but for Tom and the girls as well. I need to set a good example and eat healthy so that the girls eat well. I also need to have a positive body image so the girls have a positive role model. I do not want them to be 4 or 5 and thinking they are fat or need to lose weight. I don't know how much I will write about my struggles and triumphs, but if it keeps me accountable or I find great ideas or recipes I will share. I know a lot of you want my pumpkin bar recipe, so I will get that out one of these days!
So wish me luck on my life changing endeavor and if you have positive advice or things that have worked for you, I am all ears!

Still Here and Tagged

Awhile back, okay a very, very, very, long while back I was tagged by Jeanelle and here I am finally getting back to her tag and answering some questions.

1. What was I doing 10 years ago:
I was 18 and just graduating High School. I cannot believe my 10 year reunion is in July. Not to excited about that to be honest with you. Anyway, I was headed to DePauw for college.

2. 5 snacks I enjoy:
Anything with chocolate, pretzels, especially the big ones, gold fish crackers...this can be dangerous now that we have kids and they are always around. Triscuits and apples with peanut butter.

3. 5 things on today's to do list:
Get Maddie's glasses fitted so they actually stay on her little face.
Play date at Jeanelle's, can't wait for that one
Take a nap when the girls do, Maddie woke up at 4 this morning, ugh
Run errands
Make dinner

4. 5 Things I would do if I was a billionaire:
Pay off our house and cars
Put money away for the girl's college and their future
Help my parent's with my sister's college
Pay off my bro's mortgage
Go shopping and save the rest

5. 5 jobs I have had: I am going to give you 6, so enjoy :-)
Administrative assistant at Innovative, not a very good job, but at least I met Tom there!
Wardrobe assistant for the Indianapolis Ballet, before it went bankrupt
Administrative assistant for University of Indianapolis
Development Assistant for Special Olympics
Client Coordinator at Scofield Editorial
Mother, best job in the world. It may be hard at times, but I LOVE it, every single part of it and I am so glad I get to stay home with the girls and do it....thanks Tom!

6. 5 Bad Habits:
I have a little OCD and need things organized
Biting my nails
Speeding
Talking on my phone in the car
Eating junk food

7. 5 Places I've lived:
Fort Collins, Colorado, ahhhhh Colorado, some day again in the future.
Medina, Ohio
Colchester, England: Study abroad for 6 months, awesome, awesome, awesome
Greencastle, Indiana
Avon/Indianapolis, Indiana

8. 5 people that also need to be tagged?
I am actually going to pass on this one, so all you readers out there, you luck out and you don't have to participate!

Well, I hope you enjoyed learning a little more about me....and I promise to write more soon. We were out of internet for a week and I feel like I had a ton to write about, but now that it is back, I can't think of anything good, so anyway, Happy Wednesday.

Time Better Spent

Today, I have spent most of the girls nap time trying to figure out why our satalite isn't working correctly. It is highly annoying, not that we need to be inside on this gorgeous day, but it is nice to have music and stuff on when we are eating lunch. I have tried everything that the DirectTv website suggests and called to speak to a representative and at least now we have channels, before about every other channel wouldn't come in, but now our DVR is not working. I am guessing something happened during that huge storm we had last night. Seriously, I cannot believe how bad it was here. At one point there was such a huge crack of lightening that one of the girls toys that plays music when it hears noise or vibrations actually went off. I jumped so high I could have been a high jumper. But I digress and my frustration is still seething. The wonderfully intelligent representative on the phone told me that there wasn't anything else he could do was send a technician out, NEXT Tuesday and that it will cost us $79.00. UGH. come on people, give me a break please. I am hoping Tom can fix whatever is going on when he gets home, if not out the door flies more money we weren't prepared to spend, I love unexpected costs!

They May Be Identical, But They Are Not The Same!

As a parent of multiple children one always strives to treat each child as an individual. As a mother of identical twins it is especially important to remember that the girls may have the same DNA, but that they are different. I have always thought that Tom and I have done a good job of treating the girls as individuals. I mean, to us they look nothing alike and they never have and boy do they have different personalities. But when it comes to the girls health it has been hard to look at them differently. Of course they go to all their appointments together, they do everything together, but it has really been hard lately to remember that even physically and health wise the girls are different. You may be wondering where this is coming from so I will tell you. A few weeks ago I noticed that Maddie's eyes seemed to be going crossed eyed when she was eating. Then it appeared like she had a lazy eye, especially when concentrating, so I asked Tom if he had noticed it. He did so I called our Dr. and got a referral to an eye Dr. Today we took little Mad's and found out she is far sighted. All her crazy cross eyedness and lazy eye finally made sense and luckily she won't have to have surgery, just some super cute pink glasses. She will probably always wear glasses or contacts, but that is okay and we are glad we caught it early. While we were at the Dr. I asked him if we should be concerned about Natalie and he said to just watch her like we had with Maddie and since we already know the symptoms if we see them in Natalie to make her an appointment as well. He said she is at higher risk, but not to expect it to happen. After the appointment I started researching identical twins and health issues and I found it most interesting that even though the girls share the same DNA, during gestation and even after birth that same DNA can have slight differences that make the girls different physically, emotionally and mentally. I found this fascinating and somewhat relieved as well. Lately I have been thinking a lot about how, heaven forbid, one of the girls got seriously sick, would the other one as well. The articles I read put my mind to ease a little since the girls are really starting to show physical differences. Mad's eyes, Natalie has the "Knauer" gap in her teeth and of course their personalities. This is definitely something I am going to do more research on and I am excited to learn more. Also, as it has been said before and I am sure you have heard it, not only should you treat all of your children as individuals, but you should also trust your gut and don't wait when it comes to your own health or your child's. We very well could have waited 6 months until they went back to the Dr. but I am soooooo glad we know what we are dealing with and that in a week she will be able to see better and we don't have to worry any more. So never doubt your feelings no matter what people say, I mean really what is a co-pay even if it wasn't needed if it can save someone unnecessary pain.

I Did It!

Before
After
Today, after months and months of debate I finally did it. I cut 9.5 inches off my hair to donate to Pantene's Beautiful Lengths. I only needed 8 inches to donate to their program, but I still am not sure if I like how short my hair is, 9 inches is A LOT. But it is just hair and it will grow back, and I know that I have helped someone else have the chance to have hair and that means and says a lot, or at least it should. So here are the before and after pictures. Please pay no attention to my very wide shoulders and back!