Life Can Be Sad

Last night I experienced a sad moment. There wasn't anything that directly affected me that was sad, but none the less it impacted me none the less. See my grandma was on the phone and you could tell it was one of those conversations that wasn't going well. Later we were all outside and someone asked if she was crying. Indeed she was and none of us really knew what to do, including my aunt, her daughter. We all sat there for a while and let her compose herself and then finally I journed up to the porch to see what was wrong. Both she and my grandfather were sitting there very sullen. It turns out that one of their long time friends had suddenly passed away of either a stroke or a heart attack. She said the news was very shocking because out of most of their friends the one that passed seemed to have been the healthiest. To me it was one of those moments where you are just kind of like, okay what do I do now. This is one of the rocks in my life and her she is down and needing me, but how do you comfort one of those people you are so used to looking up to and going to in your own times of need. It was some what distressing, but at the same time it was an eye opening event, because once we were all together on the porch my grandma started talking about life and she was like, "see you never know what is going to happen in an hour or tomorrow so that is why I am living this moment to its fullest, here with my family." It was just another one of those times, where you have to remember how precious life is and how quickly it can be taken and to always be grateful for what you have and the people who are in your life, no matter how long or short they are with you, because you do really never know when it might end. So to all of you, I am grateful that you are in my life and I hope we have years of memories ahead of us!

I still can't believe it

As many of you know I have a huge addiction to Starbuck's frappacinos. You also know that I am trying to lose weight and usually these two do not go hand and hand. Well, wouldn't you know it, but I actually found a diet plan that INCLUDES Starbucks. That is right. It is the snack all day diet. Similar to the eat all day diet, the theory is that you eat about 200 calories every two hours from 8 to 8, totally around 1400 for the day. Well one of the snack sections is actually a frappacino. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that it would be possible to really lose weight and feed my addiction, but now I can!

One Long Weekend

This weekend was exceptionally long. I know, usually one is excited for the weekend and they always go by to fast, but this weekend was a long one. Around 11:00 am on Friday Natalie came down with a fever of 103.8. I started medicating her and called the dr. They said to just treat the fever, so I did. At 4:00 it still was really high so I called again, this was after Natalie literally laid on the couch all afternoon. Wouldn't eat, drink and her eyes kept rolling back in her head because she was so tired. They once again said to alternate Tylenol and Motrin. Saturday morning the fever was still high so we were off to the dr. to find out that she had an ear infection. Who knew?! She hasn't had a cold, runny nose and wasn't pulling her ears. That afternoon when she woke up from her nap her fever had risen to 105. Off to the ER we went. Let me tell you, there are some very interesting/weird people at the ER on a Saturday afternoon. After a little over an hour of waiting, we were called back and what I saw was truly shocking. It was like a movie with beds and people laying in the hallway. Very different if you ask me. So there we sat on one of those beds in the hall. The dr. finally came over and said she was fine and to just keep treating the fever. UGH!
Well, yesterday she was doing better, still on the tylenol and motrin but getting better. Then yesterday around 11 or so, Maddie starts the same fever. How can this be possible? Ear infections are not supposed to be contagious. So again today I was back at the dr. to find out that Maddie does indeed have an ear infection as well. We maybe going to see an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist because this is the 5th ear infection they have had in less that a year so if they get one more they may have to have tubes. Once again though it was ironic to me that they managed to get ear infections at the same time without sharing a cold. But needless to say all the trips to the dr. and the ER made for an interesting weekend.

The Great Debate

For the last several months Tom and I, but mostly me, have been going back and forth and back and forth on whether we want to have another child. Tom has said several times he doesn't care either way, but that he might like to have a boy. I thought this was funny, because after the girls were born he said he was fine with all girls. I on the other hand don't know, at all. It feels like there is so much that has to go into the decision. I sit and wonder, literally for hours, whether we are being selfish in having another child. For financial reasons, for economic reasons, world temperament, but mostly will it be fair to all the kids. The girls already have to share time with us, what will it be like if there is a third? We have a great family dynamic at the moment, and it is hard to picture that family if there was another child added to it. Also, the girls get along so well, what would it do to them to add another? I wish there was some button you could push that could give you the answers and that there weren't so many uncertainities. I fear that we could have twins again and I don't think we could do it, well we would, but I don't know if I could carry them and wow 4 kids would be a lot for us. I don't want that surgery again, but it would be a for sure thing we if decide to have another. I know that a lot of these questions all parents ask themselves when they decide to expand their families, but I feel like it is a huge weight that is sitting on my shoulders ready to drop at any moment. It may even be years until we truly decide, but then again there in lies more problems, because if we do have another we don't a huge age gap, so once again we are forced to think carefully about what we are doing. I guess I don't want to look down the road in years and say I wish we had had another child and we didn't, but I am sure in the end the decision we make will be right for our family, all of us, because that is what is most important our nice little family and making sure the girls are happy, safe and secure. Ahhhh well, so here is to my great debate...if you have anything to say I would love to hear it, it really is a hard decision, one that we know can only be answered by us and hopefully will some day.

Even when its hard

I have decided that even on days like today when it is hard being a mom, I wouldn't change a thing and I am the luckiest person alive that I get to stay home with my girls. Today would have been a day where Maddie got a time out for throwing things down the stairs. Natalie got one for throwing her good shoes into the pool. I had to give Maddie one in the grocery store for screaming and throwing items out of the cart. Okay, how do you give a child a time out at the store, well, let me share that with you. I had to take her out of the cart, put her in a corner, near the trash can at the end of an aisle and turn my back to her while she had her time out. Crazy I know, but the behavior was not acceptable. So one would think that time outs would have been the last of it to make it a bad day, but oh it gets gross, so hold on. Maddie made a mess in her diaper while we were outside playing after dinner, so I thought why waste a diaper and just let her run around with her body suit on, thinking nothing more could come out. I was wrong. By the time we got up to take a bath she had managed to go again and it had been ground into the body suit and pieces fell out all over the floor. So while I was trying not to rub it into her anymore, there was little Nat, walking around and almost stepping on the pieces....GROSS!
But we managed and laughed about it and while I am tired today, I am so thankful that tomorrow I get to wake up and their smiling little faces will greet me in the morning. That they will tell me they love me and give me hugs and kisses and to think, that is my job. My job is to love them and hug them, and play with them. Can I ask for more in life? I think not, I think that even though it can be hard there is no other place on earth I would rather be.